When someone we care about has depression it can leave us feeling helpless, lost and confused on how to best support them. Depression doesn’t just impact the person experiencing it but it can also be emotionally draining and a very painful experience for loved ones.
I have created this guide to offer you some practical guidance on how to support someone who is battling with depression.
Acknowledge that depression is an illness.
Depression isn’t something that somebody can just switch on and off, or decide to be no longer depressed. Even someone who appears to ‘have it all’ can develop depression, it doesn’t discriminate.
Allow the person space to talk and listen to them.
Being listened to and accepted is such a powerful experience. It allows us to feel held, understood and supported. Remind yourself that whilst your love and support is invaluable, its not your job to fix another person or to make them happy, this will help to relieve yourself of pressure you may be carrying too. Acknowledge and respect their thoughts and feelings, even if you don’t agree with them – try to accept that the experiences they describe are real for them.
Check in with them
Many people with depression will often tell themselves the narrative that they are a burden or that nobody cares. They may want to reach out but feel a sense of guilt or shame that prevents them from being able to. This can lead to them becoming isolated. Its important to check in and let them know that you are there for them. Invite them to talk and remind them of the help that is available to them. It’s really important to accept that we cant make someone access help but we can offer them options.
Gently encourage them
Gently is the key word here. Remember we cant force someone else to do anything but we can gently encourage them to help themselves. This may include staying active, eating healthy foods, maintaining good hygiene and engaging in the things they enjoy.
Inform them of support available
It may be helpful to provide them with a list of services available to them, such as local depression support groups or a therapist. Remind them that their GP can help and maybe offer to support them in attending the appointment with them if necessary.
Try to be patient
Overcoming depression is not easy and it may take time.
Take any talk of suicidal thoughts seriously
If the person you are supporting expresses having suicidal feelings or thoughts, tell them that you are glad that they felt able to trust you enough to open up and be honest with you about this because it helps you to keep them safe. Encourage them to contact their GP or NHS 111 or offer to do it on their behalf with them. It can be extremely scary when someone you love discloses they are having thoughts around suicide, please ensure you have adequate support, as it can be a really heavy load to bare by yourself.
Be kind to yourself
Ensure that you are taking time to look after yourself. You matter too! It’s not selfish to take time for you, it’s vital – after all, we cant pour from an empty cup. Sometimes we can become so focused on helping someone else, that we can forget about our needs. Schedule some time to engage in good self care practices, to prevent you from emotionally burning out.
Working with adults, children and young people 